Firefox 29 sucks!


Updated: May 2, 2014

A few days back, Chrome wannabe Mk.29 was released unto the public, coming with the failing Australis interface and more candy story confections that transform the normal user into a single-tab gibbering moron, under the pretext of exciting new ways to use the Web, as if the pr0n is something mysterious and hard to grasp to begin with.

I did talk about this in the past. Firefox has been partaking in a suckfest for a long while now. We then talked about directory tiles, AKA more ultra exciting marketing crap. Most importantly, I also have a splendid and super useful tutorial that explains how you can safely disable the new interface in Firefox 29 and change it back to the classic theme. Yes, this is the culmination of all of Mozilla's efforts. This is the tippy top of turdiverse, the place where you go if you even so much as dream of having a sucky product.

Teaser

What the Fox, I mean Web has to say

You may assume I am just being cynical. But let's look at the satisfaction charts for Mozilla. They have this thingie where users can submit feedback on how Firefox made them happy or sad. Lo and behold, version 29 comes out and:

Satisfaction graph

If you look back in time, the last backlash was the non-technical storm over the CEO choice. Nothing special happened when Firefox 27 or 28 were released. The overall feedback remained consistent. So there is something wrong with version 29.

Then, let's see what happens to Dedoimedo traffic. My aforementioned guide on how to change the failing Australis interface. Even with a partial view of the total traffic using Google Analytics, for this one particular page:

Analytics data

It does not sound like a lot, but what we have is a 30x increase over the regular search frequency, so I guess there must be something afoot. I shall yet have to see how the traffic shapes up over time, especially since last data point may not always be too accurate, but I perceive a bunch of new users coming my way for salvation.

And this is what happens to Classic Theme Restorer, the superb addon that allows you to tweak Firefox Chrome Wannabe 29 back to sanity. Just look at those fine fine graph lines soaring up majestically.

Classic Theme Restorer stats

Conclusion

I guess the loyal users are so pleased, aren't they. The crowd that made Mozilla what it is, the people who choose Firefox over Internet Explorer, the folks who STAYED with Firefox even after Chrome came out. The same kind of people that Mozilla is now gently trying to screw over with an umbrella shaped silicon implement of pleasure. Just remember, morons, if I wanted to use Chrome, I would.

There we go. We have to wait now for a new open-source champion to come by. A new company that will design a sane browser, and then we can migrate away from Firefox and start using the new product. Not sure if the existing market cuts it, really. There are no good alternatives. Chrome is not the answer in this case, obviously. Well, let's wait. Something good might happen.

For now, Mozilla, thank you for fucking up the Internet. You surrendered all your good mantra to corporate vampires. You left us with Microsoft and Google. You can take all of your social network, touch, mobile, and all the other bullshit you can come up with, and stuff it deep up your pseudo-philanthropic arses. I once loved you so much, and now I sincerely hate you. You destroyed my browser. You destroyed the fun of using Firefox, you made it into an imitation of all I despise. I truly wish you fail, I wish you crash and burn. On a day like this, I wish the Internet had never been invented. There's nothing worse than a Jedi turning to the dark side, and this is exactly what you did. You fucked us over money, you greedy morons. Enjoy your profits. Yippee, ki-yay, bitches.

P.S. To the world out there, I demand a fundraising project to start a new browser that will give us what Firefox was in version 3.5 or so. Not as a technology, but as an ideal. A browser made for sane people.

Cheers.

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