Writing great scripts with Python


Updated: January 23, 2010

Python is a general-purpose high-level programming language, much beloved in the geek community as the tool that you use to write utilities and applications. But Python is also the common name for the Pythonidae, a family on non-venomous snakes.

When you combine the two, you elevate the art of literal misinterpretation to a higher form of genius. In Dr. Pun's latest article, you will learn all about writing scripts using Python, just not the Python you may expect. The calembour or the equivoque is so potent here, that essentially a bad idea becomes fantastic. Follow me.

How to write scripts with Python

All right, so we need a snake, here's a Python snake:

Snake 1

Note: This image is taken from Wikipedia and is licensed under GNU FDL.

And another one:

Snake 2

Note: this image is taken from Wikipedia and is distributed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 license.

And we also need the Python language syntax. Here we go:

class Geometry:
    def __init__(self,x,y):
        self.x = x
        self.y = y
    description = "This is something cool"
    author = "Dedoimedo"
    def area(self):
        return self.x * self.y
    def perimeter(self):
        return 2 * self.x + 2 * self.y

Now, all that we need is a jar of ink and we can start scribbling scripts using the snake as the pen. Very creative, very unique and just a little cruel to the species at hand. But we used the washable ink, so it's ok.

Writing script

Tip 1: Place the snake in the refrigerator for a few hours before writing the scripts. Because snakes are cold-blooded creatures, they will turn sluggish and rigid and won't try to escape when you use them as a pen.

Tip 2: You can use the snake tongue (forked) for stylish effects or small fonts.

Tip 3: Writing Python should be done with Python and no other snake. Maybe anacondas only, but only if you're using RedHat-based distros, since they have the anaconda installer. What more, avoid poisonous snakes. Although rattles can be used to make great calligraphic effects, they are too dangerous for general use.

Closing word ...

There you go, my greatest pun yet. I'm so proud of myself.

I sincerely hope you enjoyed this article. Well, there's no middle ground. The joke is so stupid, it buffer-underflows to the other end, into the realm of sheer genius. You will either absolutely adore this article and digg it far and wide or hate it, taking me for a bored simpleton.

Whatever the outcome, you know how to write scripts with Python now!

Cheers.

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